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Good Neighbors/transcript
his article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Good Neighbors" fromseason four, which aired on May 20, 2003. * is sleeping until SpongeBob's foghorn alarm wakes them up * Squidward: SpongeBob... * SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward! * Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in my house?! * SpongeBob: I came to make sure you don't oversleep and miss work. * Squidward: Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's very thoughtful of you. * SpongeBob: My pleasure, Squidward. That's what good neighbors are for. * Squidward: You did overlook one teensy little detail, however! * SpongeBob: What's that, Squidward? * Squidward: (provoked) it's Sunday.kicks SpongeBob out of his house The good neighbor there's a beast maniac on Sunday! * SpongeBob: Sunday? No wonder Squidward's angry. He forgets his Sunday papers. This'll show Mr. Krabs I'm a good neighbor. I'll bring it to him. the string that holds the paper together Man this is heavy. into Patrick Oh, pardon me. * Patrick: Hey, watch where you're going. "(the butterfly flies)screams Newspaper butterfly! * SpongeBob: butterfly flies, throws paper in the air, screaming Butterfly! scream and run around * Squidward: Will you two nincompoops kindly quiet down?! I am not killing to let them ruin the rest of my Sunday. hums My Sunday relaxation kit. into box Let's see…pillow. pillow on end of couch Placed ever so for slight foot elevation. Flower--to brighten the room. Flower fragrance. fragrance on flower. The flower dies Ah, and the final touch. on phone Yes, I'd like to order the Sunday special. Yes, pedicure and foot massage house call, that is correct. See you at 4 my good man. up phone This is gonna be a heavenly day. Oh, I almost forgot. a box Bon-bons. Hello there, heaven's little wonder. Take me on a chocolate vacation. & Patrick raise up from behind the couch making noises. Squidward spits out his chocolate * SpongeBob & Patrick: By the all seeing eye, ye are worthy. We are not. * Squidward: What's two idiots going on? * Patrick: Secret ritual. * SpongeBob: To inaugurate you as president. * Squidward: Me? President of Bikini Bottom? I knew the people would come to their senses. * Patrick: No, silly. Not the president of Bikini Bottom. Even better. * Squidward: Better? * SpongeBob: You're the president of 'The Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge'. * Squidward: The what? Is this some stupid club you two made up? & Patrick laugh * Patrick: Maybe. laugh * SpongeBob: It's a secret. laugh * Squidward: Fine. As my first presidential decree, why don't you, uhh, go out and paint all the leaves on the trees to make the neighborhood look nicer? SpongeBob & Patrick out the door No out, out, out, out, out, out. That'll keep them busy for a few Sundays. he closes the door, SpongeBob & Patrick appear from inside * SpongeBob: What colors should we paint the laves, your presidentialocity? * Squidward: Polka dots! Now don't bother me anymore. * SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. Polka dots. * Patrick: Our new president is a genius. * SpongeBob: Yeah. laugh * SpongeBob & Patrick: See ya later, Squidward. * SpongeBob: outside, a red paint can drops on the ground Whenever you're ready, Patrick. * Patrick: unscrews SpongeBob's hat which turns out to be a screw Hold still, buddy. the red paint inside SpongeBob's hole. When he is done, he throws the can away and ends up hitting an elderly citizen riding a bike. Patrick screws the hat back in * SpongeBob: Okay, Pat, gimme a quick shake. * Patrick: Okie dokie. shakes SpongeBob * SpongeBob: Okay! I'm ready! grabs SpongeBob's arm and uses it like a slot machine. Drops of red paint come shooting out SpongeBob's holes and onto trees Hey, that worked perfectly. C'mon, good neighbor Patrick, let's paint the town polka dot. * Squidward: on wall is ringing noon Oh, no. It's already noon. I will be darned if I let those morons eat up anymore of my valuable Sunday. * SpongeBob & Patrick: one of Squidward's windows singing Good neighbors are we. La-la-la-la-la-la. * Squidward: What's going on out there? * SpongeBob: Hi, president Squidward. Almost done painting the- pulls on SpongeBob's arm which makes the paint shoot out his holes and all over Squidward's face and in his eyes * Squidward: screams My face! around bumping into stuff. Runs outside and in front of a car * Debbie Rechid: Look out! slams on brakes and stops in front of Squidward * Ralph: Oh, you poor mad. * Debbie: You must be very hungry! Let us take you to the restaurant. * Squidward: Yes, I'm starving. Please, I wanna food. I want to eat.drives off * SpongeBob & Patrick: See ya later, neighbor! * Patrick: It is a lovely day for a ride in the country. * SpongeBob: Yeah, our president sure knows how to live. later I'd like to call this meeting of the good neighbor lodge to order. Let's begin with role call: Patrick.is snoring OK…Squidward? chair is empty Squidward? Squidward, you home? * Patrick: Did you find him, SpongeBob? * SpongeBob: Nope. I guess he's still on his Sunday drive. * Patrick: Or maybe he's on a secret mission. * SpongeBob: I hope he's not in danger. * Patrick: Danger?! * SpongeBob: As members of the good neighbor lodge, we are sworn to protect our president from danger. * Harold (red fish): Excuse me? Somebody ordered a relaxing pedicure and foot massage? The Sunday special? * SpongeBob: Brother Star, we'd better check this guy out. Make sure he's safe for Squidward. * Squidward: At least I still have my Sunday pedicure to look forward to.& Patrick are laughing inside Squidward's house. Squidward opens his front door What are you two doing in my house? * SpongeBob: We're checking to make sure this guy really is a certified foot masseur and not some kind of assassin. * Patrick: I say he checks out a-ok. * SpongeBob: Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips? foot with long toenails * Squidward: French tips, huh? SpongeBob's chair to the side Alright, pal, make with the foot massage, pronto! * Harold (red fish): Uh-oh. Thanks. Your hour's up. * Squidward: angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furious turns red and makes way toward the front door Alright, you two! Clean up my mess! and Patrick walk out Don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or today, or Grandma's House. * SpongeBob: Squidward, does that include… * Squidward: the megaphone 'Yes, it does. slams door * SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something? * Squidward: busts head through the door, exploding Yes, I was! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the best neighbors ever, You're the best wet painters in the 1 hour! breath You don't deserve to wear those fezzes! takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes and angrily stomps them into the ground * SpongeBob: Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right. * Patrick: Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all. * Squidward: explodes once again Now, What do you want?! You're hiberating neighbors! angrily hyperventilates And stop calling me president! * SpongeBob: C'mon, let's go. and Patrick sadly walk away * Squidward: There are only 3 hours of my Sandy gets Happy left. They took it all away. I didn't even get to read the Sunday paper. pile of paper on ground with a note on it * SpongeBob: Your Sunday Paper Squidward. Enjoy. Love, SpongeBob.'. * steams up furiously, kicks the paper into the air, then growls like a dog. Then he takes a paper off his head. * Squidward: Good neighbors my right. paper Hello? "Keep Out Intruders For Good! New Security System 5000. Free Installation" does an evil laugh. 2004, he has the security system built in and turned on * Security System: System Activated. Bikini Computer 2004. * Squidward: That oughta do it. Let's see those imbeciles try to get in here now. * SpongeBob: with Patrick, with their fezzes back on, walk up to Squidward''President Squidward? * '''Squidward:' screams What the…?! * SpongeBob: We hereby present you with this delicious pizza. * Squidward: writing on pizza "Sorry for bugging you so much"? What the…? Security system, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What's the matter with you?! * Security System: Windows XP 2001. * Squidward: banging on security system Grrr! You infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrap heap you came from! * Security System: August 24, 2001. system shoots a laser at Squidward which makes SpongeBob & Patrick's pizza fly into the air and land on the system, causing it to go haywire. * Squidward: What's going on? * Security System: Threat detected. Loading! Summer 2001. * SpongeBob: as fireworks are shooting out all over Squidward's house''It's like a carnival ride. * '''Squidward:' around Run for your lives! house suddenly grows legs and arms and stands up. Then grabs Squidward from inside What the? What are you doing?!house kicks him into the air and walks off. I only have half an hour of me time left, and the idiots took my house. Which means those boobs aren't around to bug me. Ooh, just what I've been waiting for. hysterically I am gonna relax if it kills me. * Squidward's house is on a rampage. * Army: Fire! tank fires a missile at the house, but the house catches the missile and flicks it away. Then the house grabs the tank and squishes it. * Patrick: Wow. Squidward's house is destroying the neighborhood. * SpongeBob: We gotta turn this thing off. on a light switch Nope, not it. * Patrick: the toilet Nope. * SpongeBob: on the fan Nope. * Patrick: the toasted button down That's not it, either. * Squidward: resting This Sunday relaxation really hits the spot. stands right above Squidward * SpongeBob: Hmmm, where to look. an "off button" on the wall Hmmm, this off button seems suspicious. button and house sits on top of Squidward and goes back to normal We did it, Patrick! busts through from beneath the floor President Squidward? * Squidward: No-no, don't say anything anymore. This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. Now if you'll be so kind to leave so that I can get ready for work tomorrow. * SpongeBob: Mr. President- * Squidward: Shush. * SpongeBob: But we just wanted to… * Squidward: in their faces angrily You're in of my house! Huh? * soon as SpongeBob and Patrick flee from Squidward, a whole crowd and two police boats appear outside Squidward's house. * Scooter: There he is! * Green Fish: Are you the owner of this house? * Squidward: Yes! Yes, I am! * Green Fish: Then on behalf of the citizens of Bikini Bottom, angry fish hands him a warrant I present you with this summons to pay for the destruction of our town. You'll be doing community service every Sunday for the rest of your life. * Squidward: Huh? * SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, you got one of those, too? & Patrick walk up with a summons in their hands This'll be great. The three of us cleaning up Camp Kidney. Well, see ya next Sunday, president Squidward. * twitches, ready for another explosion. Category:Transcripts